Shadow

by Zoe Boekbinder

supported by
Aaron J. Shay
Aaron J. Shay thumbnail
Aaron J. Shay Absolutely unique arrangements of beautifully honest songs. There's a gentle, sweet tension between the acoustic and the digital, with Boekbinder's voice and words sewing all of the pieces together. Favorite track: Rise.
mycheroni
mycheroni thumbnail
mycheroni I seriously can't get enough of this, excited to hear what comes next!
trackonrepeat
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trackonrepeat The title is quite fitting, as you can tell this album came from a very dark place, but there's still light around the edges, much like a shadow. The mix of doo-wop, folk, and gospel helps take the edge off some of the heavier lyrics, without making the problems addressed feel trivial. Really moving music, especially the last three tracks. Favorite track: Becoming A Nun.
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about

This album is dedicated to Sophia - I love you always and I wish I could have said goodbye.

These songs were written during the darkest times in my life so far. I lost a friend who was more like family - more like a home. I lost my grandfather, a holocaust survivor, whose stories have meant so much to me. I was broken open and apart. I have messed up. I have hurt people and been hurt. Through this, I have learned how strong I am. I have been reminded that darkness is a shadow and it has edges. I have learned to value my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. I have learned to forgive faults in myself and people around me. I have learned to let go. I have started to learn to trust myself. I have lost and found myself in music again. Songs are my way. Thank you for opening your ears.


Deepest thanks to Jeremiah Daniels, Claire LaVelle, Wanhee Chung, Nathalie Boisard-Beudin, Stefan Linden, Sarah Sullivan, Lindsay Janasiak, niceLena, Christopher Legg, Mac Wubben, Charles Roussel, Michael Barnstijn, Ashley Kurtz, Nick Schultz, Lisa Waters, Shenandoah Davis, Kate Hanrahan, Julia Ross, Alex Boekbinder, Myles Boisen, Ani DiFranco, Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley, Shonda and Angel, the degenderettes, The Chanterelles, all my sea creatures, and everyone who helped make this album.

credits

released November 24, 2018

all songs written and performed by Zoe Boekbinder
guitar played by Zoe Boekbinder except on Low Expectations (played by Myles Boisen)
drums played by Jonathan Arceneaux
bass played by Justin Peake
harmony vocals:
What Have I Done? by Julie Odell
Shadow by Dayna Kurtz
all other backing vocals by Sabine McCalla, Erin Wilson, Bear Hebert, Missa, Shonda Noil, Dayna Kurtz, S. Donnelly, M Collin Miles, Alex Boekbinder, and Zoe Boekbinder
beats on Possibilities and Not What I Need by Paul Kang
all other instruments played by Zoe Boekbinder and Mike Napolitano
recorded and mixed by Mike Napolitano
mastered by Myles Boisen
produced by Zoe Boekbinder and Mike Napolitano
cover tintype by Meg Turner
design by Tim Smith

license

all rights reserved

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about

Zoe Boekbinder New Orleans, Louisiana

"Zoe Boekbinder opens her mouth, and the voice that comes out is ageless, beautiful, heartbreaking and wise." - Neil Gaiman

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Track Name: Haunted
there were - there were two - there were two versions of you
who i - who i'd get - who i'd get i never knew
sometimes you were kind
but often i'd find
a cold rejection, left me hungry for affection
and shame on me to mention wanting affection

any time - any time i stood
anytime i stood my ground
you would - you would pout
you would pout and put me down
instead of apologize, you would criticise
you said i should have known i wasn't wanted
and though i left you by those words i am haunted

you would - you would hang around
you would hang around and say
you needed - you needed more time
you needed more time away
you said i wanted too much
i never said i didn't get enough
i didn't even ask you to come over
i didn't even ask you to come over

why do i - why do i have to - why do i have to explain
touching me, touching me when, touching me when i said no's not a game
when men behave the way you did that day
you're the first to throw stones
to talk breaking bones
Track Name: Shadow
we are together in feeling alone
unloveable and unknown
we are still searching for where we belong
it is not where we are or where we came from
everything that we do is an effort to escape the sadness
we seek distraction and a fraction of light in darkness

shadow can't live without light
day can't live without night

we should remember where light can be found
if it burns too bright it's sure to burn out
so take rest in darkness knowing it's just a shadow
and shadows have edges that meet the glow

shadow can't live without light
day can't live without night
Track Name: Mirror
you are good at telling me
how you think i ought to be
and i'm always telling you
what you ought to do
oh we've really thought it through

there are rules about the words we say
about who can take up how much space
and shame on you if you mess up
no apology will ever be enough
no second chance, the doors are shut
maybe we could never measure up

though these rules have a reason
we are all flawed humans
though its often hard to tell
we're all tryin hard as hell
and we've learned from the times we fell

what are we fighting for
and who's the enemy in this war
we've got our weapons facing in
isn't that how hate always wins
we're forgetting where we've been

there's so much i still have to learn
many bridges i won't mean to burn
and people that i may demonize
mistakes that i will criticize
i hope one day i will be wise
Track Name: Possibilities
what if you'd been told that you were strong?
that you could play along
that you were born to play this game
and you were born to win?

what if you'd been told that you couldn't be wrong?
that you would always belong
what if you'd been told you could take what you need?
that you were born to be free

no one knows the possibilities

what if you'd been told that you would go far?
what if you'd been told you could play the guitar?
what if you'd been told and you believed
you could be what you wanted to be?

what if you'd been told that you were smart
that everything you made was a work of art
that if you tried you would succeed
and everyone agreed?

no one knows the possibilities

what if you'd been told your ideas should be heard
that your thoughts should be put into words
that everyone appreciates your advice
because you are always right

what if when you turned on the TV
you thought, "hey, the heroes all look like me"
what if you'd been told and you believed
you could be what you wanted to be?

no one knows the possibilities

i'm telling you now if its not too late
you deserve it all and you shouldn't have to wait
if someone tells you that you're unworthy
turn around and leave

no one knows the possibilities
Track Name: Becoming A Nun
i'm thinking about becoming a nun
i'm tired of being defined
i'm feeling confined
by your desires
i'll light you on fire
i am for hire for what you require
i'm thinking about becoming a nun

old fashioned ways you like to say
in a history book you belong
my body betrayed you
you said it had value
but to profit from that is wrong

CHORUS

i don't like the story you're telling
so what if its the only kind that is selling
you honor a tradition passed down through history
you'll keep getting rich selling our humanity

CHORUS
Track Name: Darken Your Door
I know you're not somebody's baby no more
be mine, honey, it's you that I adore
won't you invite me to darken your door
i'll take however long you want to love me for

so many years ago that i was cruel to you
now you and i have been alone for a few
isn't it time yet to try again
you have not left my mind one single day since then

I know you're not somebody's baby no more
be mine, honey, it's you that I adore
won't you invite me to darken your door
i'll take however long you want to love me for

haven't you paid me back with all this waiting
what must i do to prove that i have been changing
i've never owned a feeling so strong
i've never known my heart to ache so long

I know you're not somebody's baby no more
be mine, honey, it's you that I adore
won't you invite me to darken your door
i'll take however long you want to love me for
Track Name: Low Expectations
all the time i spent wondering what you were thinking
you spent all that time drinkin
so anything you thought you quickly forgot

its easy to outdo my low expectations of you

the bar is set so low, you act like you know
you get away with treating me so
because after i go there will be one to follow

its easy to outdo my low expectations of you
they say you're a good one and me i'm no fun
you play games i turn and run
we aleady know who won i forfeit i'm done

its easy to outdo my low expectations of you

i expect you to be mean, to treat me disrespectfully
with all the world you've seen
you should know you should not be so awfully mean

its easy to outdo my low expectations of you

all the time i spent wondering what you were thinking
you spent all that time drinkin
so anything you thought you quickly forgot

its easy to outdo my low expectations of you
Track Name: Not What I Need
you keep on fooling me with all your stories
about the future and forever when you'll always be there for me
what about now? what about now?
where are you?
there are things you'd rather do

your love's not what i need
your love is not enough
your love's not what i seek
your love's not real love
your love is loud but weak
your love's not fooling me
your love's not what i need

what does it matter now the world's about to end
who cares about my failed romance when we have rights and bodies to defend
since we are under attack, i need to know whose got my back

your love's not what i need
your love is not enough
your love's not what i seek
your love's not real love
your love is loud but weak
your love's not fooling me
your love's not what i need

those men up on their thrones want to pick the meat from our bones
they want to keep our bodies under lock and key
so right now, right now more than ever, we've got to be the solid ground for each other

your love's not what i need
your love is not enough
your love's not what i seek
your love's not real love
your love is loud but weak
your love's not fooling me
your love's not what i need
Track Name: Rise
no one should live inside a cage
i don't believe it keeps us safe
darling it's all about money
nothing is too precious honey
it's all about the money, honey

rise

laying bodies like bricks, building spires
somebody's building empires
leaving behind a trail of fire
from the ash rises a choir
rises a choir

rise

muffled voices through the wall
high price paid for a phone call
we amplify as we multiply
so listen as the silence dies
hear the choir rise

rise

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